Furlough

I’ve thought a lot about whether I should post this, but it’s felt like this weird mist has been hanging over me for the last week or so, and it seemed like to the best way to get it off my chest.

I’ve been furloughed. A word which didn’t even really exist before 2020. And I currently don’t know how I feel, because I’m feeling all the feelings at the same time.

If you missed it, furlough has been introduced for businesses who are struggling as a result of Covid-19, where the government will pay 80% of an employee’s salary. We’re expected to be grateful - and I am, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a fan of this government by any means but am so glad they’re providing some support for businesses (of course, nobody knows where the money is coming from, but that’s not what this post is about).

But all in all, it’s not about the money for me. I’m worried about letting our beneficiaries down. That people will start to think that my organisation doesn’t care about them.
Also, for someone who goes through severe boughts of imposter syndrome being told that you’re one of few in your department who aren’t needed doesn’t help. The staff who are being kept on are working so hard in order to fill gaps, but life goes on and they’re managing, in fact, they’re doing a stirling job.

We’re constantly told that it’s not just us, and all organisations are going through this - as if that’s supposed to make us feel better. As if reducing our self-indulgent concerns will make us feel okay again. As if being told that this is the only way that a company will survive will make it hurt any less. As if knowing that it’s not just our jobs at risk will make it fine.

Scared. I’m scared that after spending years trying to build this career for myself, I can be removed from the equation and suddenly everyone sees that there was no need for me to be there all along. I’m scared that if I lose my job, I won’t get another one because there will be so many in the same position. I’m scared that this blog post will come across selfish. But none of this makes what’s going on any less valid.

Guilt. I’ve tried to make the most of a bad situation and I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve quite enjoyed having a bit more time on my hands to delve into new hobbies. I’m lucky that I’ve never had to be off work without plans before, and it’s been nice to ring my friends for a chat during the daytime, and share what everyone has been up to.

If your company is going through a furlough process at the moment, I see you. Everyone will be having different reactions to the situation but I suspect that there will be a lot of similarities in how we’re all feeling. Remember, your feelings are valid and things will turn out okay in the end.

A new direction

It’s been four years since my last blog post, and in that time it seems like a heck of a lot has changed.

I split from my long term boyfriend in 2016 - I wish I could say it was mutual, but the process at least taught me a lot about myself and others. It’s made dating tricky because things like that really get into your head, but I’ve found myself learning something new from everyone I have ‘dated’ since 2016. That’s all I’ll say on that topic for now as nobody will be interested in all that, but maybe it’s something to delve into for future posts when I’m ready.

In the last four years, I have continued at my same employer, but moved teams and developed my knowledge and confidence in a specialism. Hopefully, this stands me in good stead to carve out a ‘career’ and help me decide what I want to do in life! 

Personal growth is a huge thing and, throughout life and career dramas, my wonderful friends have been a constant support (bleugh, cheesy...) and opened my eyes to trips, adventures, and having faith in myself. Although many of them now live far away, we’re still finding ways to spend time together and are always there for one another.

So, I thought that would be a good direction for my blog to go in. I’ll still share different topics as I want to discuss them, but the main steer will be sharing trips and adventures with my friends.

I’m not sure how long I’ll keep up the blogging (you’ve all heard that before...) and I won’t commit to a regular schedule at this stage, but I hope to use this space to share some positivity and, occasional moments of profoundness.

Thanks for sticking with me. 

University decisions

One of the young people I volunteer with recently turned 18, which means that it's become quite a stressful time for her lately. Mainly because she's now hit that crucial age where she decides whether or not she would like to go to university. We had a long chat about it the other day, and I gave her a few hints and tips, but it made me realise that she probably wouldn't be the only one going through this so thought I would put some thoughts together on here for anybody else in the same boat.

Know your distance. 

There are so many universities and if you are determined not to go too far from home, this can really help you to narrow your options. I know, it can feel like a total maze, lost and surrounded by grades with no idea of where you're heading. 

Your course. 

Is there a specific module you have your heart set on? If quite a few universities offer it, make sure they're top of your visit list. That said, leave yourself open to change, because it will really upset you if you do not get a course with that module. 

Don't limit yourself. 

You will have been told by your career advisor to put more than one option down on your ucas form,and ensure that at least one requires slightly lower entry grades. It's not a reflection on your ability to get the grades you want, rather on the huge amount of competition from other potential students. To put it into perspective, the postgraduate course I want to get onto has 70 places for 700 applicants. Difference between that and an undergraduate course is that very few universities offer the course I need so I can't apply to multiple. If you can, do it. 

Please do visit your options! 

So many people I went to college with left university after the first six months because they had had no idea where they were going. This is particularly true if you end up somewhere as a result of clearing. 

These are just a few pointers for anyone who really doesn't know where to start, but I really hope they'll be of use to some of you out there. 

Have any of you been to uni? What are your top tips for applying?

“NOT I – NOT ANYONE else, can travel that road for you, You must travel it for yourself.” – Walt Whitman

On Wednesday, the greatest thing possible happened. I finally passed my driving test! It feels like I have been learning for an insane length of time, but I know of people that took far longer than that. 

It's been a really stressful process, not least because I've been a confident driver for quite a few months now. I've always struggled with test conditions, both in my academic studies, and this reflected into my driving tests. I think it's the silent conditions, as they make me question myself far more than I need to. In fact, I'm not sure how I passed this time; it may have been the point at which my instructor said "You drive differently on your test day" - a fact I was very much aware of but nobody had pointed it out before. He said "you wouldn't be here if you couldn't do it, so just remember you can". And I did. 

The next step is to get myself hooked up with some insurance, so I can actually put my shiny new pink licence into action! I think it's going to involve a few months of saving more money up than I do (and if you've been following my posts in the past, you'll be aware that I'm normally pretty good at scrimping!), particularly as it will cost round about £2000 to get insured as a named driver on my parents' car! I dread to think how much it would cost if I had passed at 17!

It'll be worth it though, and I need to get it sorted as soon as possible, because after 5 days I'm already itching to get back behind the wheel! 

You'll never guess where we're going!

In my last few posts, I've mentioned LaSERIO 2016 quite a few times, and this post will be no different, I'm afraid! 

This weekend my team met up for the first time since selection, for a two day 'training' (not really training, but I don't know how else to describe it!) event. We had the opportunity to hear from people who had been on other international trips, and quiz them about all things money and prep. It was fantastic to watch videos and see photographs from service trips all over the world, particularly Team Ecuador from 2014 as they are all the same age as us. Younger groups have trips planned for them, whilst older groups plan it themselves which is what we are doing. It was great to see how Team Ecuador found the planning stages, and it helped put our minds at rest as well (we've been feeling rather unprepared!)

Then we spent quite a few hours researching and working out where we will be going. Talk about improving researching skills! 

Before we met up, we had all completed a Survey Monkey to see what part of the world we wanted to go to. This meant that the research was already narrowed down to the Caribbean and South America, but where did we actually want to go?

We examined books and websites, and eventually narrowed our choices down to three possible countries, and took a vote:

Dominican Republic 

Haiti

Puerto Ricco

We completed a tally, voting for two choices each. It took a very long time but we eventually settled on Haiti! 

My knowledge of Haiti is pretty limited, learning a little of the geographical background whilst at college but I am taking the time to find out more about it.

Haiti, an island with a population of 8 million, is the poorest country in the Americas. It's 2015, and the literacy rate is still incredibly low, with 60% of those aged 15 and over being able to read and write. That said, it's gradually increasing and continues to do so. 

The next step is planning the intricate details of our volunteering; we've been looking at an organisation called 'Volunteers for Peace' who specialise in volunteering in Haiti. Their programmes fit in really well with what we would like to do, and we are hoping to work with young people affected by the earthquake in 2010. We would learn and teach them about the environment and ecology of their local area and how to live in harmony with it.

The trip going to cost in the region of £2800, which seems slightly more manageable than the £3000 we initially estimated. I am aiming for £3000 though, as then I have a bit of excess if costs end up being a bit more than we anticipate. Still not entirely sure how I'm going to get so much money together, but hoping there will be lots of opportunities! 

Wish me luch - it's all systems go on the fundraising front now! 

LaSERIO 2016 Update

A little while ago I mentioned that I had been lucky enough to be selected for an international service trip called LaSERIO, in 2016. We have still yet to work out where we are going or what we will be doing as the community action aspect of the trip, but I can understand that it will take some time as it's a case of being able to pair the task and location up together. For example, Haiti is an option which has been raised a few times as they are still recovering from the earthquake in 2008 and still need support out there. It's an ongoing discussion but hopefully a decision will be made soon as it makes fundraising very difficult. After all, when you're looking to raise such a vast amount of money, the first question wish to ask is where you're going, and more importantly where their money is going. The team leaders have now carried out a survey to collate suggestions, so hopefully it won't be too long before we find out! 

Despite this, I like feeling prepared and often find myself feeling quite queezy when I realise I've not really begun fundraising yet.

With this in mind,move got a few ideas in the pipeline - some of which seem more plausible than others. Ideas so far are as follows:

- Bag packing: This guiding classic is one that people have been doing for years, and although it's hard work, it can raise a fair bit of money. Oh hi, Christmas shoppers! The downside to this is that ideally you need quite a large group depending on the size of the store, and the other people going on the trip live a fair distance away so it may be difficult for them all to get involved. 

- Quiz sheets: This is something I did at primary school a couple of times and can raise a hundred pounds fairly quickly. The idea is that people pay £1 to take a quiz sheet and fill it in, and when it's returned, they are entered into the prize draw for a prize, whilst I get to keep all of the money. My plan is to do one at work and one perhaps at a local guiding event. Typically with quizzes such as this, they would be based on the place you're visiting but I imagine that if I hold off to do that it will take far too long to get any money raised at all. To combat this, I'm currently pulling together one based on a 'where in the world' theme. There will also be an actual quiz evening with different questions, if all goes well. 

- Stamps: I overheard someone doing this and thought it would be worth a try, so have signed up to www.fundraisingstamps.com. The aim is to collect as many stamps as possible, of a high quality (at least, not damaged...) and then when sent in I get paid by weight.

- Calendar draw: Hoping to do this at a couple of events, as it is a bit more interesting than a typical raffle. Basically, participants pay £1 or £2 for a specific date and then the dates are pulled out of a hat to win a prize once all of the boxes/dates have been sold. 

- Easyfundraising: the one method I have definitely got under way now is using the website 'Easyfundraising'. This website links to most sites you make purchases from and the companies donate a small percentage of the item cost to my cause. They also have a site called 'easysearch' which is a search engine and every search made through it will raise a small amount of money. You can check out my page here: www.easyfundraising.org.uk/francescajones16 

So, there are a few ideas at least... When we were first given the estimated cost of the trip, I saw it as a challenge and was so excited to try and raise that much money. Now, however, I'm getting quite worried, because £3000 is quite a lot of money to pull together in nine months or so. The ideas I've had so far don't seem as though they will raise vast amounts, with several of the ideas potentially making £100 each, and the stamps (if I'm lucky!) making £10.

If you have any ideas, let me know!

Steam and Cider festival

I live in an area which has been recently dubbed the most miserable place to live, by Rightmove. However, 2015 is the 50th anniversary of becoming a London borough and to celebrate they have held a huge range of activities for the entire community.

It's a fantastic idea, with events taking place throughout the summer holidays for children and at the weekends for everybody. 

Today we went to the cider and steam fair, which seemed to have a quintessentially British aura about it. 

All in all it was a really lovely event and one which gave me the opportunity to meet and chat with one of our local councillors. That said, we did find it slightly bizarre that, at a cider fair, there was only one bar. Of course one bar meant a queue which took about 25 minutes to get from back to front, on one of the hottest days of the year! We were all asked not to bring our own drink onto the site, but of course many people did. Who can blame them, when there were no bag checks as you went into the park.

Perhaps I overstepped the mark but, in my head, I had envisaged a bar at which we would be able to try lots of different types of cider, perhaps sampling some new and different ones? In contrast, the one bar provided the highly rare Bulmers original and Bulmers berry as well as that classic cider, Fosters. Not quite what people would typically anticipate from an event that marketed itself as a steam and cider fair. 

There were plenty of steam engines, however, with a few classic British engines, police cars, and even a display American style 'fire engine'. The latter was really interesting as it was billed as being able to do 'wheelies' and it certainly delivered. Very clever stuff! 

Have any of you been to summer fairs this year?